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“Lean into the Suck”

I loved when people would tell me, don’t run from the feelings, just stay in the moment with your grief. Those people obviously haven’t ever felt the kind of pain I was in. As a human being, my body and soul wanted to get out of my current reality so badly, like I was drowning and grasping for a life line. I would have done (almost) anything to hurry up the grieving process. What I learned is that there’s no way over it, under it or around it. The only way is through it. And unfortunately for me, I was the one that needed to go through it. I was the one in agony and therefore I was the one who needed to heal.

I recently read Sheryl Sandberg’s new book, Option B, and in it she talks about “leaning into the suck.” It sucks, it just does, and it’s going to suck for a while, but it does get better. But know that if life sucks right now, it WILL get better, it always does. When you are in the “suck”, the vast void that is grief, it is so hard to see out of the tunnel. The tunnel is dark, deep and windy. So when you have a good day, or a good moment, RIGHT THAT SHIT DOWN. Right down how far you have come, and refer back to that when the wave of grief comes back. Because it will come back, but if you honor it, the waves will come fewer and further between. And in between the waves, there is light. So much light. And there is love.

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