There is nothing like the moment your baby is placed in your arms for the first time. I have experienced this three times, and each time the instant overwhelming feeling of the deepest love you can imagine is present. At that moment, you forget what life was like before your child arrived, it becomes obsolete. All that matters is that your family has grown by one, and that baby is yours, forever. Your souls are connected in ways that no one here on earth can ever explain.
With my first and third born, I got to bring them home from the hospital and learn about them in the physical world. I learned what their cries meant, and how to meet their needs. My husband and I adjusted as we cared for a new member of our family. I got to kiss them, hold them, watch them grow daily, and I cherished every milestone. I was and am deeply in-love with being their mommy. As time passed, we became closer as we learned more about each other and could communicate better.
With my second-born, Harper, the same exact process happened for me, only it was purely spiritual. She did not come home with me from the hospital, but I was deeply in-love. Instead of watching her meet her milestones, and care for her at home, she and I had to develop a relationship that straddles heaven and earth. Not an easy task, but one that can be done – we are living proof. She guides me, sends me signs, shows me my strengths and is there when I need her the most. I had to learn how to tap into her guidance, how to trust her signs and how to allow this relationship to unfold. Once I was able to hone my intuition and feel connected with her spiritually, my grief started to subside. I realized that it’s not the way I thought things would turn out, but it’s the way that it did turn out, so the only way to embrace it is to connect with her however I can.
Our connection is so strong, and so deep, that she is a part of my daily life. I used to pray to God, now I pray to Harper. As time passes, I feel her more present and stronger than ever. We are learning about each other and how to navigate our relationship, just as I do with my other babies.
So, if you thought that my relationship with Harper ended when she crossed the rainbow bridge – you are mistaken. That was just the beginning of our love story…..